Buyers Perspective: Gaining Insights from Our Clients and Audience

Creators Spicy Tea is by Creators, for creators, and 100% about creators. Every now and then though, it’s incredibly important that we get the point of view and perspective from our audience and our clients. Creators spicy tea has partnered with r/FetishBuyersCommunity to reach out and get that perspective from active content purchasing members of the adult content community. We also want to thank every single one of the many many purchasers who engaged and participated in this. We really hope that these interviews and the responses brought by our audience, by our customers, can help us better develop our strategies, and better understand our clientele.

All participants will be remaining anonymous. All participants were from Reddit, and this resource is somewhat heavily focused on the direct selling corner of the industry. We will be going question by question with all of the responses provided. Many responses were similar and may be summarized or grouped together.

Part 1: Allow Us to Introduce Ourselves

The first question we asked our interviewees was to try and gauge their overall experience in the online purchasing community. We asked how long each participant has been a part of the content community as an active buyer or subscriber.
There were a whopping range of experience reported within the buying community. We are talking three months all the way to a decade plus! This is a fantastic range for us creators as we will be getting a wide variety of experience from the participants!

• (32%) stated they were in their first year within the community.
• (44%) were in the range of a year to three years.
• (23%) could boast four to ten plus years. And that decade was not an outlier y’all! There were four responses of nine and up years of engagement.

Now we know their range of experience, we wanted to ask about their beginnings. We asked how they first learned about this side of the adult content industry?
There was a wide variety of answers here as well, but there were some identifiable trends for sure. We’re going to break it down by the numbers before we dig into some of the responses!

• (72%) participants who answered this question related their beginnings more upon the rollercoaster of coincidence that is an internet deep dive. Of these 41 many found the selling side of reddit through the platform itself, though others stumbled on us through simple Google searches or other platforms.

“I did a Google search for ‘fetish used panties’ and reddit was among the search results. I had known about reddit but was never active in the site.”

“I always wanted to know what it would be like to have someone else’s socks because that always turn me on and I found reddit.”

“Purely by accident. I collect bras, I was browsing reddit for potential new acquisitions and found out about the existence of the selling community. Contacted my first seller shortly after exploration.”

• (11%) came to our little corner of the internet through a referral.

“Through a fellow member of a fetish discord server.”

“Honestly a friend told me about it. I’ve always know about OF’s but not buying direct.”

• (5%) found us through social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Kik groups.

• (12%) have joined us from other platforms such as cam sites and paid subscription sites.

“I originally found out about buying worn panties from a cam site where one of the models also sold them. After doing a little bit of research, I found r/FetishBuyersCommunity on reddit along with the selling communities, and have been a part ever since.”

“Hmm, I have had just got into Onlyfans heavy and started buying panties so yeah I found this side after that.”

So now we know how we are being found, we asked what their preference is in type of content. Whether that is physical or digital content.
There was less variety of responses for this question as it was more close ended, but some great perspective was shared.

• (63%) prefer digital content. Though many of them do state they will indulge in physical as well, just not as often.

“Digital items only. I do follow and enjoy looking at photos and kind of like the idea of maybe purchasing a physical item, but it would have to be with a seller that I really connected with and had already purchased from for a while. For me, it would have to come with a lot of trust.”

“Digital content only. I have no interest in physical content.”

“Mainly Digital, but physical content is a huge bonus.”

• (10%) responses physical content came in much less demand from this sample pool but still with an interested audience!

“Physical items over digital for me”

“I prefer physical items but have bought digital content from interesting sellers.”

• (26%) participants are connoisseurs of both types of content. A big thank you to the participant quoted below for that fantastic word choice!

“I would say Im a connoisseur of both, really depends on how Im feeling and who I connect with.”

“I have mostly purchased physical items, but I have leaned into buying more digital content as of late, but I would consider myself someone that enjoys both.”

“I usually buy physical items along with digital content to go along with it. I rarely just buy one solely over the other, they are complementary to me.”

As we know there is quite a hefty amount of free adult content out there. So we wanted to know whether the participants prefer buying content from sellers over free porn content? Why or why not?
This question had one very heavily weighted answer that most respondents could relate to, with a few outliers.

• The main response had (66%) of respondents with a very similar answer, which was very favorable to us. That 66% heavily prefers buying content from creators rather than consuming free.

“I’ve spent years searching for content that speaks to me specifically, and often missing the mark. I have wasted time going down rabbit holes of “free” porn that led to disappointment so much. I finally found that there’s is something about receiving a bespoke piece of content that cannot match all of the free porn out there. And it’s not just about the final product. The whole experience: from posting the idea, choosing who to contact, refining details and, in some cases, negotiating price point- is what makes the final product sink or swim. I’m sure any buyer/seller can tell you that good rapport and communication makes a good product great, and a great one a treasure.”

“Custom videos and supporting independent creators”

“I greatly prefer purchasing content from sellers vs free. Having interests in some very niche fetish material, have custom made content is pretty much the only way to get what I’m looking for and the personal touch the creators can put on it is a greatly appreciated bonus.”

• (8%) participants stated they had an affinity for both.

“I do still look at some free porn content, but I do very much enjoy buying content from sellers. Not to be crass, but free porn is generally what I will go to when I need to get off quickly. While I also use the content that I buy directly from creators for that enjoyment, for me the content is much more personal and intimate, and I tend to enjoy it more for prolonged sessions. Or I will go back and watch and just enjoy the content of the video I purchased alone, a lot of the content I buy has different levels of enjoyment for me, and it isn’t all about sexual gratification. They can be soothing, calming, or give me an opportunity to enjoy the creators body more as art, to see the body in motion and enjoy the movement, the way light hits their body and highlights different aspects…the enjoyment from personalized content goes much deeper than free porn.”

• (8%) stated they do prefer free content, but will still purchase from creators

“I will always prefer free content. However, sometimes an idea will form and the need for custom content is warranted.”

The final question we wanted to dive into for this resource was how often buyers are actively purchasing content.
Unlike the above question this one seemed to have more variety in answers and was more evenly spread out.

• (36%) respondents stated a very infrequent purchasing pattern of once a month or less.

Depends, usually once every couple of months.”

• (26%) stated closer to bi-weekly.

“Biweekly or whenever the mood hits. I typically rush to my regulars and see availability”

“Depends on how the money is flowing 1-2 month sometimes.”

• Another (36%) stated that they are at minimum weekly purchasers!

“Frequently, I keep quite a few fansite subscriptions so I end up buying something almost daily”

“Probably once a week, maybe more? A lot of times I’ll work with a creator I’ve worked with in the past, instead of posting a new ad.”

This next section is going to be covering what draws their attention to specific creators. What do they look for in a creator? What are the green flags that they are drawn to?

Part 2: What Draws Our Attention

To begin we asked them about our promotion strategy. More specifically we asked what about a creator’s ad draws them to choosing us as the one they want to purchase from.
There were a few Non-applicable’s and unsure’s, as responses to this, but we are keeping those out of our percentages. Y’all this is really important information for us to learn from and can be hugely beneficial.

• (21%) mentioned finding the following very important: positive reviews, upfront offerings and pricing, put together profiles, well structured menus, and shared payment options. We have discussed in the past how important all aspects, including our comment section, of our profile are. And

here is a good reminder on the importance of a pinned menu.

“Clear and precise pricing/optioms. I.E. links to socials, Payment options, Menu”

“Appearance, product, and time spent into composing their menu and services. A short bio and about me is my favorite to get to know my seller, makes the connection feel more personal. But definitely it’s how they advertise their page.”

“Payment options, and pricing. I feel like im wasting time asking those questions if I found out they arent things that work for me. Once I see those are something I line up with I check for stats (body description) and pics. Emojis and a little excitement definitely catch my attention. It’s more fun for me to purchase if I can feel like the creator is having fun as well”

• (24%) said they look for: personality, authenticity, engagement on the platform (beyond just posting). Something that was clearly stated they were avoiding is a transactional experience. Captions are an amazing place to inject plenty of personality.

“I am admittedly an ass man, so a nice shot of the booty will usually catch my eye. But the big thing that will really draw my interest is a clever use of the caption on the post. Having a title that is clever and shows the sellers personality more than just being a thirst trap will absolutely catch my attention. For me, personality goes a long way, there are a lot of incredibly attractive women that post ads, but if you are just selling sex and nothing else, it’s not going to interest me. Sure, you need to have a few of those posts mixed in, I understand that many other buyers enjoy that…but I want to find a reason to work with the person themselves, and being funny or clever or witty with the title/caption triggers far more interest from me than anything else.”

“Beyond their looks I would say how the express themselves and how they communicate. Responsiveness and not feeling like its just a business transaction. If the post is just pictures and pricing I move on no matter how gorgeous the provider is. Same goes for responses to want ads, one or two word replies get skipped over completely.”

“A sense that they are not just solely looking at buyers as dollar signs and wallets. Also that they have a good sense of customer service and will not just treat you any kind of way after you send them full payment. There are many sexworkers like that who lack customer service and accountability on their end of how they run their business.”

• (54%) were more focused on the content itself. They prioritized: quality, creative, and appealing content, our appearance, and their attraction to us. For some tips on optimizing ads, check this out.

“Creativity and attention to detail are big giveaways of a serious seller who enjoys what they do, and look forward to a collaboration in my opinion. You can tell by poses they chose, clarity of image. I’ve seen plenty of sellers get creative with color schemes and quirky messages all good indicators and attention grabbers, that’s not to say a scammer won’t put forth the effort, but they usually don’t. I tend to research those sellers a bit more and think of ways we can team up on a wear and content.”

“In order of importance: Looks, verification, photo quality, kinkiness, pricing, level of activity, adequate description of services”

“Appealing Pictures/Quality”

In that question some responses touched on the importance of our profiles, but we figured we would dig a bit deeper and ask what the ‘green flags’ are they look for on a creator’s profile.

There were 64 answers in total, one answer was unfortunately not applicable so we will be running off of the 63 viable responses received. This is another area that we really need to listen to the buyers in. This could be a fantastic resource to help us optimize our profiles.

• (17%) mentioned the importance of having a pinned menu along side clear indications of services provided, limits, and pricing.

“A well written and easily accessible menu + bio of who they are and what they are selling, various pictures of themselves showing off their worn items for sale or examples of pictures/videos that can be requested. Recent or regular activity posting their services.”

“A well put menu, and constantly updated media.”

“In most cases based on the interaction I usually add an item or add on, but i budget for that. A layout of prices, terms, available items and services is usually what I look for. I completely understand that drawers are hidden in most cases due to pic thieves, that’s fine. So if that’s the case, pricing would at least help with the decision of reaching out.”

• (22%) stated that account age and post history are the most important green flags. They wanted to see a well aged profile with plenty of karma (Reddit). They also were certain to mention the engagement is important, but spamming is a red flag. In regards to karma, it was specifically mentioned that our comment karma is just as important. We recently went over the importance of our comment section.

“Regular posting but not spamming lots of pages, been posting for at least a few months regularly. Sometimes nice to see a mini bio or q&a.”

“”Account age is consistent with Karma. Ex. Id account year is 6 months but 10,000 karma, I know they’re probably fake and karma farming. And if they have 6 years but only like 2,000 karma. I know not a lot of people visit their page, so something has to be off with service, product, or delivery.”

“”Active participation /posting in subs.”

• (41%) find it more important to see reviews and verification in large selling subs. They also wanted to see effort in making those reviews and our other pertinent information available to them.

“Verification, multiple posts, website & social media links”

“Effort, linking to reviews, relevant replies to ads, a variety of posts (instead of repeating the same few), interacting with the community, showing unique personality”

“experienced, lot’s of reviews on r/FetishBuyerCommunity”

• (19%) are more focused on the importance of a person behind the account. They want to see friendly, open communication with an emphasis on customer service. For a review on customer service in the SW industry, see here.

“I enjoy seeing a profile that looks like it belongs to a person, and not necessarily just from a creator/model. Mix up the selling posts with some posts that show some of your interests. Granted, I know that a lot of SFW or even non-selling NSFW subs can be very aggressive and hurtful to sellers, so it’s not a must have, but I do love seeing it. Another big one for me is the comment history. If you show that you engage with people that comment on your posts, if you engage with other posts in the community, if you are trying to offer advice and helping out wherever you can, all of that is really big and important to me, and will immediately give you a bump up in my eyes.”

“Reviews. Engagement with followers. A sense of what that seller’s personality is like. Photos that showcase physical features, and not just the obvious ones. When I’m interested in buying a custom, it’s the whole person I’m interested in seeing. I guess I’m saying Variety of poses and photo styles.”

“If they are interactive and if they respond in a timely manner”

The last group of respondents mentioned the importance of personality in a creator. But, what specifically are they looking for?
Remember, it is important to listen to our clients needs and wants in a creator’s personality, but we absolutely must be staying true to ourselves!

• (25%) mentioned wanting playfulness, charm, flirty and friendliness.

“Amicable! Sometimes the terse replies really don’t make the sale feel genuine. Someone who enjoys their craft. Some do it for just money and that is completely okay, but even the most minor connection in conversation makes the panties frameable art in my book”

“I look for a humorous, lighthearted attitude and a genuine interest in fetish and kink.”

“Friendliness and enthusiasm.”

• (32%) were more focused on communication skills, response times, professionalism (while maintaining the connection), etc. Basically this group wanted to see fantastic customer service.

“Friendly, honest, good communication”

“It’s fun when the creator is authentic and asks questions. I tend to come to creators with a good idea of what I want, and the best custom experiences I have are when creators ask questions to clarify what I want. It’s also always nice when a creator treats me like someone they’d like to work with again. Checking in, etc. it’s always nice!”

“Good communicator with a good attitude. Seems to enjoy doing this. Keeps their word. Seems to enjoy, and puts some thought/effort into the custom pics. And ships in a timely way.”

• (42%) focus on friendliness, approachability, and someone willing to be engaged in the conversation.

“I’m mostly interested in seeing that they are a real person with interests. I mostly don’t want the creator to appear to be just a sexual gratification robot, or someone that is just here to treat each order as strictly a transaction. Show me that you enjoy meeting people and building connections. Show me that you have other interests and other ways to build a connection that will all add up to make the experience even better. Yes you are providing a service, but the more personal and intimate that can be for me, it will lead to a much better overall experience. Also…be real with me, be straight with me, share your ideas, offer advice on what you think will make everything better, provide your input. You as creators have far more experience and know how to deliver good content…plus you know what you are good at, so you know what will come out looking better. I very much believe that if you are invested in the idea, if you feel like you can make it your own while also delivering on my fantasy, that will 100% show in the end and will make the content so much better. We both should enjoy the process.”

“First and foremost friendly, one or two word answers put me off. Plus playful and cheeky.”

“Most often it’s just simple kindness, but also love it when they get excited to create the idea I have in mind. It really adds to the excitement.”

Now we have some concept of what attracts our clients to us, we wanted to ask about their experiences. We asked if they could remember a fantastic interaction with a creator, and why they found it to be fantastic.

These responses are absolutely something that we can learn from, and use to better adjust and optimize our client relation strategy.

• (19%) defined a fantastic interaction based on the quality of content and effort they received.

“I will give you a few examples of some, the very first seller I reached out absolutely spoiled me rotten. I received updates throughout the wear in the form of pictures, videos and messages about her activities. she was a great communicator, super fun super sweet and to this day we continue to have a great relationship ; I purchase from her regularly.”

“I contacted the creator in the same manner as usual, giving them an idea of what I was looking for and asking permission so elaborate and send samples. Pre- production discussion went great, they sent a price which seemed kind of high but that’s okay, I paid and we moved forward. Was told a time frame which worked fine for me. Then I didn’t hear from them for several weeks after planned completion date. I was super anxious but I messaged them regarding the issue. The seller had everything already made and finished but just forgot to send. (Checked the exif on the files to see date created matches agreed time frame). Mistakes happen completely understandable. I do have to say that even with the mixup and added wait time, this creator did the absolute best work ive gotten so far. Absolutely professional level content and as soon as I got the media, my feeling of price being a little high had shifted to a feeling of “I didn’t pay them enough”

“The product was amazing and custom video was perfect”

• (46%) found open, honest and personable communication to be what they are really looking for. This group also saw an importance in creators enjoying what they do.

“Absolutely!! She was super personable and made sure she understood every detail as I liked. And delivered it when she said.”

“There are plenty of fantastic interactions with sellers. Great communication, reliable turnaround time, they weren’t pushing for the sale, they brought their own ideas to the table or asked questions to make it a better product, and generally just nice to chat with while working together.”

“Three creators come to mind, and I’ve had 5+ customs with each. REDACTED are all exemplary creators. They ask clarifying questions, incorporate feedback, and nail everything that I ask for. It’s evident that they read everything I send and ask them for. The delivery time is also usually very quick, which is certainly my preference. Communication is great throughout, particularly with REDACTED (that’s not to say communication is bad REDACTED, who have the art of customs down to a science and will deliver something great).”

• (34%) focused in on the interaction between them and the creator. They stated that because the interaction was amazing, it even made the content itself better.

“Oh good lort like 90% of my interactions with sellers are fantastic. I have no idea if sellers are more willing to interact with me because I’ve been in the community for a long time and I have extensive history with commenting and reviewing, but I tend to be able to reach out to a seller and just have friendly conversations with them. I would say the big key for me is treating everyone like a person. It’s not all about sex and getting off, I like to know the people that I work with, and getting to spend time building that connection is always a treat. I think so long as you are kind and respectful, most creators are willing to engage in conversation with someone, partly because getting to know the buyer gives them more insight into what they like and allows the seller to better provide service for them, but I also think a lot of sellers just like the human interaction as well. Also…it can be hard to find people that will understand what they go through with providing fetish services, so having someone that understands and relates and is willing to listen and offer advice/perspective from a buyers point of view can be helpful. Plus I’m just a chatty person and like to talk about anything and everything and also like to listen to other peoples stories, and I like to think that I provide a nice safe space for people to open up and know they will be listened to and respected.”

“The best interaction for me is an ongoing one with a seller who I talk to almost every day. It’s a relationship and rapport that has been built over time and certainly didn’t happen overnight: it required accountability and respect on BOTH sides: first and foremost, it required myself to be a responsible buyer that accepted the cost of services and respected the sellers time by responding and paying promptly, interacting with respect and being understanding when things didn’t always go perfect. Simply put, I take care of her and she takes care of me. The result has been a genuine friendship that I cherish to this day.”

So now that we have covered what attracts our clientele to us, and we’ve covered what their green flags are, let’s switch that up. Let’s turn that table. Let’s discuss those red flags, those turn offs, and those big neon warning signs that creators might be giving off to buyers.

Part Three: The Pains To Play

The first question we presented to them was about red flags and/or ‘turn offs’ that they see on a creator’s profile when first considering reaching out.
There were enough answers fairly similar that we were able to group these into three general categories. This is extremely valuable information for us creators as it can help us make our profile more appealing to our potential clients.

• (~30%) Had a focus on spamming. Our Reddit profiles are basically our giant, ever updated, billboard for who we are as a creator. It is incredibly important if we sell on Reddit to keep our content and captions fresh and limited to only a few relevant subreddits per piece of media. For Reddit’s definition of spam, see here. Something to note is that a few responded that seeing creators respond with only “interested” on buy ads (this will remain in your comment history which is visible to everyone) will also be a red flag. For a reminder on why our Reddit comments are so important, see this resource available to all members and the free ‘following’ tier of the Creators Spicy Tea Patreon.

“If they post the same thing 100x and different subreddit, unresponsive, or there prices are to good to be true”

“Posting the same post continuously in an army of subs, post spamming tends to be a sign of bots and spam accounts. Posts that are just sales lists with nothing about yourself. No post history is another big one as it usually translates to user deleting posts when they get called out as scammers etc.”

“Repetive posts or comments, putting other people down, excessive advertising (like spam posting pictures, or using bait titles)”

• (~48%) Focused their answers more on the basics of what all creators profiles should consider having if they direct sell on Reddit: their menu (see this resource on why having a pinned menu is so important, available to all members and the free ‘following’ tier of the Creators Spicy Tea Patreon), basic information on the services they offer, their drawer link (if selling physical items), a solid post history, and a generally positive attitude shown through positive interactions in their post and comment history.

“Like I stated, I research sellers before I reach out, Menu, drawers, interactions with buyers, if they comment on their posts. Some turn offs would be not having terms, conditions or pricing on their page, no one wants to labeled a time waster but not having prices could lead to a sticker shock and the sale falling through. Unlisted pricing or terms always has me second guessing reaching out. Also recently i’ve seen a trend on other platforms with charging for proof of wear pics, as in they’re not included with the wear. If I have to pay extra for a proof of wear picture it’s an automatic pass for me, wear pics should be included, it’s the bare minimum to indicate you actually wore the item. Hopefully sellers on reddit don’t follow this trend. “

‘Lack of a menu, lack of images on their profile, leaving out key information.”

“Only close-ups and badly lit. A profile with less than 10 pictures is a profile I’m going to back out of and possibly block so I don’t waste more time on them. I read reviews. A lot. But no review is going to get me to reach out to a seller who doesn’t have any kind of presence on their own profile. And I don’t know if this is a hot-take, but the people who post “comment and I’ll send you nudes” or “good morning, say it back” need to know that they are getting exactly the clientele that they are shooting for. The rest of us just roll our eyes and continue scrolling.”

“Low amount of posts and toxic behavior”

• (~26%) Are more focused on reviews. The most recognized subreddit for reviews to be posted would be r/FetishBuyersCommunity, however there are multiple other subreddits in which reviews can be posted such as r/SexSells, and r/FetishHaven . Reviews are critical in direct sales to help indicate to buyers that we have a positive transaction history and can help with them lending more trust in reaching out and going through with a sale. There was also a strong focus on verification. Verification in subreddits can absolutely be a pain in the ass. But, it shows buyers that we are who we say we are.

“Unverified/No Reviews/Bad Reviews”

“New profile. Bad reviews”

“Other than negative reviews, seeing them be problematic in many other subreddits”

The remaining questions were more focused on buyers’ experiences within the market and community. Starting with posing the question, can sellers also be time wasters?
As creators we know the frustration and mind numbing annoyance that comes with someone just wasting your time. It happens often. There are of course steps we can take to prevent this, such as having an informative post on our profiles with our services and prices. Creators should be reporting time wasters on r/FetishScammers, and always remember to search usernames there before diving into a sale. But, can creators/sellers also be time wasters to buyers? There were 56 responses to this question and they have been broken down into either a yes or no response.

• A whopping (~81%) responses said yes that not only can sellers be time wasters, but most have come to that conclusion due to having their time wasted by a seller. Remember y’all, do not take on a request for content or service unless you are sure you can deliver it. That being said, life tends to life and get in our ways. Open, honest communication with your client is crucial in these circumstances.

“Definitely! Lol. I’ve had quite a few sellers that chat it up with me, have me go over details for a custom video, confirm details they can get done and are comfortable with, agree on payment… all to disappear once I ask for payment options. Or say “that sounds fun! i’ll get back to you once I have time to work on it 🙂 ”, and never return. While still commenting, responding and posting about other content orders. I reach out a few weeks later about still being interested in working on the order, and they don’t reply. Heck there’s someone now that hasnt replied to my after a year of “finding time”, and has been active on Reddit this whole time! Lol. I’d rather just hear they aren’t offering customs, or aren’t fully open to my idea in the beginning than go through the trouble of typing it all out and have they inquire for more as if we’re going to reach an agreement that’ll satisfy us both.”

“Absolutely, and to be clear this doesn’t mean that sellers have to be online 24/7 answering every message. However taking forever to answer a question can be an indicator that the seller is either uninterested or has too many requests to prioritize. Life comes first and everyone should understand that, but the courtesy of saying “something came up, mind if we resume the conversation later” can make quite the difference. Also, Ive noticed a number of creators respond to ads even if they dont meet the stated requirements, its okay to say so in the initial post response but if it hasn’t come up the 4’th message you are wasting the buyers time.”
“I do, though probably less frequently and much less malign. Sometimes a seller can be ambivalent about an idea – no problem if it isn’t your thing.”

“Of course, they could respond to a request and then say they can’t do certain aspects after the discussion. Lack of communication always bothers me, I’m more than happy to wait 2 weeks for a video that was promised in two days as long as regular communication is had and I’m not constantly chasing it”

• Only (~22%) responded that sellers are not or cannot be time wasters.

“I think the sellers overall are very responsive, they of course have a financial interest in being responsive so it make sense.”

“Rarely, usually if something comes up, the seller will let you know there’s a delay. The ones that earn my respect is the sellers who compensate for the delay. Just a small add on, it doesn’t cost too much for the seller, but as a buyer, it goes a long way for me, and it’ll make me a loyal customer.”

“I don’t think sellers can be timewasters, what I’ve noticed is that many of the sellers are not always active on reddit and sometimes it can take awhile for them to see that you’re interested in working with them.”

This next question is something both buyers and sellers have to be cautious of and nervous for. We asked the respondents if they have ever been scammed. We wanted to go a step further and also asked how it made them feel.
As sellers a scam is one of the shittiest things that can happen. Whether you perform a live service or provide custom content, a scam is someone stealing your labor and/or product. It is, of course, never to be tolerated and should always be reported to r/FetishScammers. Buyers can and are scammed as well. Buyers’ past experiences, specifically negative ones like scams, are something that we as sellers don’t always take into account, so we wanted to give the buyers a chance to speak on it. There were 53 responses to this question at the time of publishing this. We broke these down into four categories.

• (~16%) Respondents stated that they have been scammed in their time within the community. However, these nine said that they walked away with this as a learning experience and have refined their strategies in avoiding these situations.

“I have been scammed twice, both were when I first started buying and both were my fault for not taking the proper time to research who I was interacting with and I was just tossing around money. I did not report or do anything about, I chalked it up as a learning experience and got better afterwards. It’s been over 2 years since I have been scammed. Have I received orders that did not live up to my expectations or made me question if the order was done as requested…yes. But I went into those orders fully expecting it, more or less proving my normal buying method, and I had no legitimate proof that I was scammed. So those instances just proved that the methods I have now work and are effective.”

“Yes. Sadly several times. In all cases it was failure to deliver on a promise of content and then ghosting. What was worse was they had been people I had brought from before, and it just felt they decided to take advantage. You can’t help but feel annoyed and disappointed, but it is a learning experience and you just work harder to try and spot the red flags.”

“Yes in the beginning I made a purchase but was ignored thereafter. I knew I would never see my money again, so I went to this person’s profile and left comments warning others that this was a scamner. I felt stupid for not seeing the clues and red flags, but committed to learning to spot warning signs.”

• The most frustrating aspect of a scam in my mind can be the mental toll it takes. 14 (~26%) of those who answered spoke more to that aspect of their experiences.

“I have and I felt really bad. I don’t work a lot of hours due to disability so I don’t make much. When I buy from sellers, I take a gamble on whether my money be well spent. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t but that doesn’t upset me as much as being scammed does.”

“Not sure if it was a scam but the seller clearly wasn’t in a position to fulfill my order after making all our arrangements and instead of providing a refund she kept promising unattainable deadlines and even became unreachable at one point. Ended up messaging her that I was going to write a one star review, which I ended up posting, despite trying to reach a compromise with her. Made me very frustrated, unappreciated and disrespected as I was looking forward to the order with her.”

“I’ve been scammed a bunch, in a bunch of different ways. Way before Reddit, and as recently as a month ago. Sometimes the little head makes decisions that the big head regrets. It’s all the things, regret, anger, frustration, a little embarrassment.”

• Just as creators have r/FetishScammers to report scams, buyers have r/FetishBrothersCommunity to do so. And about 22 (~41%) of the responding buyers said that they are utilizing this. Another option buyers have is to leave negative reviews on that subreddit. Just as it is important for us sellers to warn our colleagues and peers of bad buyers, it is equally important for scamming sellers to be called out to protect buyers.

“Posted a report in the FBC and got over it. Definitely made me pissed but an unfortunate part of the game. Bottom line if it seems to good to be true, it usually is”

“Ive been around the different communities in one way or another that has happened multiple times. For Reddit I contact the Mods of the sub and provide the required evidence. I admit I’m a petty Betty and will make sure to look up that particular user’s post history and report to every single related group they post in.”

“Yes, several times. I left a negative review. It made me feel really disappointed and I didn’t buy anything else for a long period.”

• Heartbreakingly only (~15%) responded that they have never been scammed. Y’all, as a community we have to try and do better than this.

“I have been very lucky in that I have yet to be scammed, I try and do due diligence on the sellers that reply to any ad I put up, which is where your banned list is invaluable.”

“Not yet. I always take my time looking through a good portion of someone’s online profiles before contacting them.”

“As crazy as this sounds No, ( knock on wood) I was almost scammed early on, but my bank, and FBC saved me from a scammer and none of my money or time was lost. I am eternally grateful to FBC for that help.”

The final question we threw to the buyers was a bit sensitive, but we as sellers can learn a lot and fine tune our approach from it. We asked if they could remember a particularly negative interaction with a seller and what about that interaction made it negative.
I know that these responses might bristle some hairs or make us sellers feel a bit uncomfortable. But, if we really dig into them and hear them out, we will be able to learn from them and not make the same mistakes others made.

• The majority, at (~37%), blamed poor communication, long wait times (often not agreed upon originally), and a creators lack of organization as the culprit of their negative interactions.

She did not deliver on the agreed on date and when I asked her about it she told me I had to wait and to remind her. I did remind her and she got mad at me which started a long period of reminding her when she had specifically asked me to and then getting mad at me when asking for it. Mods eventually had to get involved and the situation became worse and she still came at me after the issue was resolved which led to me blocking her.”

“Aside from the time I was outright scammed, I’d say one of the worst experiences was with a seller who strung me along for several weeks with excuse after excuse. Nothing is more frustrating than having to chase down a seller for something you paid for and agreed upon. I’d almost rather just be scammed so it’d be over quicker, it’s so annoying to drag it out over several weeks. Why sellers do this is beyond me, such a waste of time for both people.”

“Yes, Reviewed creator that was either poorly organized or took on more customers than she could handle.”

• (~17%) Respondents stated they had a negative end result due to creators not getting details or specifics correct. This is often reported to be happening after those detailed were clearly communicated. I have a couple steps I take to avoid this happening for myself. For one if it’s in telegram I will pin important messages like limits or custom scripts or prompts. I also take detailed notes for any custom content on my Custom Note Sheet.

“Whether it be physical or digital, there are two instances that come to mind from a while back. Both were in how the order was delivered. Half hearted in the art, pics, and video, and most of the details of the commission completely ignored/forgotten. Panties nowhere near the way I ordered them. Both instances were no refunds and no attempts to fix the problem. I was always told that “you only ever have your word” and it’s very true that sellers ruin a long time relationship with a faithful buyer by just half assing the orders believing they will come back regardless.”

“Seller did not follow custom instructions, didnt update on shipping, blocked me for asking questions. Mods got involved, I think the mods were pretty reasonable in resolving the issue.”

“Whew! Paid for a video in January that took May to complete. It was a custom video request. Shower voyeur, start to finish. Nothing too intricate as I wanted it to be more natural. Quick communication early in the morning, with promise it could be done by the end of the day. Details, delivery method, and payment agreed all agreed on. Payment sent over, video done. Everything done within an hour. A buyers dream interaction so far! But suddenly there’s “issues sending the video”. 12 days later I receive the video, and it’s missing details we agreed on. I bring it to the sellers attention, and she lets me know she can get a re-do done “tomorrow” since she did agree to those details prior to, but forgot during filming. 11 weeks, and a few update requests and excuses later (she was still commenting and posting on Reddit. As well as posting on her OF), I finally get word that the video is done. But, 2 more days after that, I finally receive the video because she “forgot” how she sent it last time. The video included the missing details, but had a terrible angle (too far away. First video was perfect camera positioning). By that point, I accepted it was going to be a horrible experience that couldn’t be salvaged. Just appreciated that I was disappointed, but not scammed, and moved on. And it still wasnt up to par. Never reached out again, but saw she’s still posting and selling content.”

• (~26%) Stated the reason they felt the interaction was negative was due to poor quality content, a bad product or service, or a flat out scam.

“Only one springs to mind, the quality of her cam wasn’t great, kept lagging, and she didn’t cater to my requests at all, even though during the preparation stage she agreed to everything.”

“Many interactions are awful. Especially when the purchased item is not delivered or is visibly not worn”

“When I have a bad interaction, it’s usually for a few reasons. First, if the creator doesn’t really have the video quality. If I’m paying $10 per minute for a creator with mid quality, I’d rather pay someone I know will have high quality video, someone I worked with before. Other bad experiences would be when a creator doesn’t really nail what I ask for. I’ll usually ask for something specific, like using my name for the cumshot. I’ll specify that to them. It’s beyond frustrating when I get the video, and they don’t include that specific ask. Finally, bad experiences come from long waits. There have been multiple times where I’ll commission a custom with a well reviewed creator, only for two-three things come up to delay the video a week or two. I get that life happens, but if a creator tells me that their computer broke, or something else, I wouldn’t expect them to be actively posting replies to ads.”

• (~19%) unfortunately reported a negative interaction due to creators being unfriendly, unpleasant, degrading or otherwise negative themselves.

“Aside from scams, a lot of this has been on OF so I figure this is largely part due to agencies. People being insulting or very pushy for sales, sellers reaching out and spamming messages to beg, being generally flaky or non-responsive. In one case I tried politely asking about promised content over months, and when finally reported they blocked me and threatened to get other creators to blacklist me too.”

“Very demanding and overall unpleasant towards the end. whenever i’m rushed by a seller it leaves a soured feeling overall and I remember the scammer I dealt with and while I haven’t been scammed since, I tend to not to repeat purchases from sellers that were pushy or rushed me. “

“Also many times, always when they’re blunt and rude, maybe I misunderstand something and they laugh at me or if I’ve made a mistake and apologised I’ve been told “well think next time” when I’ve asked for a video for less money than they charge because I misread their menu.”

Our Vision of the Future

For the first question of this resource we asked a very general and open end one. What do you think about the current market?
53 respondents answered this question.  Four provided NA answers. 

• 11 (~21%) had a more negative outlook specifically because of the scammers that have seemed to multiply on both the buying and selling end. 

• 8 (~15%) thought that the general global economy is a huge factor to the point that it may be the deciding factor and something we are all going to have to plan around. 

“I do think the market will bounce back, but I’m not sure it will bounce back all the way unless there are some significant changes made with the economy in general. This kind of service is absolutely a premium/luxury, and with things in general in life costing more and more and income not matching, quality buyers will be buying less often and probably sticking to sellers they know they can rely on. And other buyers will continue to look to get the absolute most out of their money they can, driving the market down and making it more and more difficult on long term, more full time creators.”

“I’m not sure if it’s the timing of when I got into it, but it seems the markets not as budget friendly these days. Custom and premade digital content pricing increase. Not as many open to payment options that are beneficial for those of us that need to be discreet, but also some options (wishtender) seem to be shutting down. Even a budget of $50 in a simple 5min request is responded with “budget flexible?”

“It has its ups and downs, but stays relatively constant. The prices have increased significantly as many communities are enforcing minimum price rules”

• 6 (~12%) believe the market to be shrinking in either creator ofr buyer engagement, market availability, or seeming limited neiches. 

“I like what I see when I log on. I wish it was easier to find more reliable markets. Sexsells and fetishwantads are great but I’m never sure what other subreddits I can trust.”

”I’m someone who buys the same custom from multiple creators so I find it a bit small, I’m not into bbw and so i feel very restricted with the current market.”

“Its hit or miss. Sometimes you will find someone who excites you, sometimes you dont”

• 12 (~23%)  respondents expressed concern with oversaturation and a shift to seeing too much of a push to adult platforms. 

“I think it has recently become oversaturated with bots, scammers and especially with content creators that don’t communicate with their buyer to explain why their purchase is taking so long to be delivered and then eventually not willing to refund when they don’t deliver for one reason or another.”

“It’s quite saturated, but it’s truly a market where any type of person with any type of body type can make content and find content for themselves. I think the saturation makes it better. I really do, searching through all the Rough makes the diamond shine all the brighter.”

“It’s slowly getting worse as most posters on certain pages are there only to advertise their onlyfans”

• 12 (~23%) had an overall positive outlook, 

“I think overall the FBC marketplace is pretty good. I appreciate the responsiveness of the moderators and it seems they genuinely care and hold everyone accountable in a fair manner. I think it’s helped establish an overall expectation and standard for both buyer and seller.”

“I think the current market is okay. I think that there are a few staples of FetishWantAds, creators who are very active and very good. The ones who respond to ads often and who have very quick turnaround times. Usually, when I post an ad, there are really only 2-3 creators who respond (of the 30 or so that reply) that I actually would think of working with.:

“Seems to be plenty of healthy competition, many providers to choose from. At this point in my purchasing habits I don’t really try new sellers though, I tend to stick to the handful of favorites that I have.”

The next question was a bit of a hard one, but important to be asked. Would you say that relationship quality between buyers and sellers have become worse overall, better overall or stayed the same? Why do you think that might be? 

57 buyers answered this with 6 answering NA or in another way bowing out from responding. Many creators have been reporting that buyer creator relationships are becoming tenser, more terse. Knowing what out clients are experiencing can help us readjust.

• 11 ( ~19%) stated that buyer and creator relationships have improved!

“I actually think the girls on here are getting friendlier and way easier to talk to about what im looking for or at. now that you all are weeding out some of the bad seeds little by little. Kudos to the community police.”

“For me personally it’s been great as I’ve found a small handful of sellers I enjoy and trust (including one in particular that’s been beyond exceptional and I interact with daily). But that’s because as a buyer, I’ve done the work to verify sellers via reviews or Trusted Seller Lists and the Ban LIst. I’ve also held onto some personal standards/ground rules as well. I think that is an important step, as the buyer can’t let themselves be susceptible to obvious attempts at scams. With the help of the FBC and some discipline to those buying standards, it’s allowed me to develop great relationships a few great sellers.”

” I’ve only seen mine improve but I can’t speak to anyone else’s experience. I’ve laid out exactly what I’m looking for and that’s helped the quality.”

• 19 (~33%) said that it is getting worse for them or at least from what they have heard or experienced.

“Worse overall. Got scammed from many sellers, even if their where verified or had reviews”

” Worse, it’s hard to make it work sometimes, bad communication more often than not, many scam for buyers and also for sellers.”

” I think the proliferation of OF and such sites has made it harder on the b/s relationship. Some buyers build unrealistic expectations while the sheer volume has made it harder for sellers to stand out and makes it so more cater to some popular fetishes vs others for a number of reasons. However when you find a hidden gem its amazing, it just takes a lot more sorting through to find those standout cases.”

• 18 (~32%) Stated that its stayed the same according to their experiences or perspective

“I’d say the same, you get the odd who have no interest in an ongoing relationship to support returning custom and some who will just chat to you regardless of whether you buy anything for a while.”

” Judging by the few reviews I’ve looked at recently it seems like the relationships have remained the same. Difficult to give a proper assessment since I have been restricting myself to sellers I’ve known for some time.”

” I think it has stayed the same. Some buyers and sellers exit the community while new ones come in. And some are positive people while others are not.”

And finally we thought we would end this series of resources with: If you had to say one (or two or three) thing, or give some advice, to every seller out there, what would it be? 

This open ended advice can be crucial for us. To get direct advice from our customers themselves on how to better sell to them is an awesome opportunity. 56 buyers responded to this. 4 responses were NA.

• 18 (~32%) focused around the importance of communication and friendliness. Treating our clients with kindness and respect will help better the chances of them coming back.

“1. Follow up with your buyers and keep them in your loop. Don’t make them chase you. Message them first, keep tabs until you get them off your plate. 2. Don’t expect customers to understand your problems. Don’t even tell them your problems. It’s not our business. Offer a solution or refund. 3 Deliver under the time that you quote. If you do this, you will be awash in good reviews and having to turn down business from being to busy. Under promise, over deliver.”

“Don’t scam people! Even though there are lots of bad buyers out there, don’t burn good working relationships for a quick buck. You have opportunities to make a lot more in the long run and not waste your reputation. Value communication. Don’t leave people hanging, especially after payment is sent. And for all the genuinely good sellers: you’re amazing and you make being a buyer worth it. Thank you for all you do!”

” Trust your gut, be vigilant, know when to give the benefit of the doubt. Take value in repeat/regular clients and let them know when you genuinely appreciate them for being good clients, whatever that description means to you.”

“Be kind and patient to all buyers. I know it’s hard with dealing with so many scammers and time wasters, but not all of us are like that. There’s some that respect and acknowledge the human component and see more than just a “sexy content creator / fetish item seller to get off to”. Chat a little, ask questions, answer questions, be yourself. A good connection plus good content will equal return buyers, and possibly make them more “generous”. Don’t let a dry spell discourage you from enjoying the community and trying to make money; you can make it! Don’t be afraid to turn down a request that you can’t complete, deliver high quality on, or just aren’t too interested in. Go with whatever pricing works for your budget needs, and correlates with your quality of work! 🙂 (I might get heat for that part part, haha). “

• The next 15 (~27%) respondents focused on the importance of attention to detail, being willing to ask clarifying questions, and open honesty.

“Be honest about time, we all understand this is side hustle for most of you. All we ask is for an honest timeline for you to deliver. Whether it’s the days you wear it or the time you need to produce content. Also, when you agree to do a specific thing don’t pretend you did. Us connoisseurs that have been buying for years know. This was part of the reason I stopped buying, it seems like woman were just phoning it in as they say. There is nothing for satisfying then finding a woman who really loves to do this! And will always keep me coming back for more.”

” Read the requests thoroughly, it can be tiring having to explain again our request to someone after she already agreed to.”

“Keep it professional. Be clear about what you offer. Respond to people that are interested in paying you if you advertise you are available for the work. If you mess something up, take responsibility/own it, shit happens.”

• 19 (~34%) wanted to reiterate the importance of genuinely enjoying and being ourselves through this.

“Be yourself, let your personality shine. You don’t have to completely lay yourself bare, but the reason why we choose to work with you is you have something that appeals to us. If you spend all your time pretending to be someone else…it will show, and will lead to less inspired products.”

“You’re appreciated. It’s hard to gauge how much of a positive impact you can have on a buyer or the reasons for why someone’s approaching you but know that despite all of the noise and chaff in the marketplace there can be real human connections between buyer and seller.”

“First and foremost, thank you! I don’t think I understand the industry well enough to give advice. There’s a lot I don’t see and I imagine for every hundred comments you leave, you get one buyer so I’ll just say thank you for your patience from buyers like me who get oddly nervous.”

“There will be awful buyers as in any other selling area, but don’t let them harden your attitude. Try to interact with positive buyers as having fun conversations as human beings. Those have been my nicest transactions. I don’t see this as wasting time but as securing a long-term buyer. I’m showing sellers upmost respect and I’m expecting the same in return.”

“I wouldn’t dream of giving them any advice, I think they are fantastic in what they provide. Maybe just remember sometimes people are nervous and not time wasters but just want to make sure they are getting the session they want.”

Final Thoughts

This has been a long process to get done and I want to thank everyone for your patience with me in getting this written. I want to personally thank everyone who contributed to reponding to these questions, to the r/FetishBuyersCommunity team and the entire r/Creators_Spicy_Tea team who helped make this happen. Thank you again to every respondent and we all hope this can help everyone!

© 2024 -2025 Creators Spicy Tea

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Creators Spicy Tea with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.